he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
