ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
