Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
