I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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