So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
