omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
