so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
