is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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