# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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