therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
