covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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