You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
