i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
