i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
