a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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