I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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