Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
