Your mouth is God's brothel.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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