So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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