girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
