Ambien. No doubt about it.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I did not marry a roomba.
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