i just had sex bonerless
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
