she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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