I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize