So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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