You smell like stripper and shame
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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