She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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