It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
