I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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