Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
