dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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