She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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