you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
