he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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