I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
