I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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