brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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