Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Please, let me fuck your mom
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
