So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
