I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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