Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
