so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
