ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
