i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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