Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
