but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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