hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
