i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
