I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize