I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
