Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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