mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
