i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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