was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
