Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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