thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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