Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
