Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
