I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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