Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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