Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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